Growing apart from friends
Best friends forever, we made a pact in the second grade to be besties, butt buddies, soul sisters, and ace boon coons forever. We have shared some of the best moments of our lives together but as of lately, the inside jokes have faded, we barely communicate, and things just are not the same. Happy hours and meet-ups have gotten a tad bit awkward, and the fluidity of conversations just seems to be forced and unnatural. It is true that “people change,” but to think it could happen to the people around you is a hard reality to deal with.
Let’s get this message out of the way first: growing apart from friends is not necessarily a bad thing. As we get older and begin to adult our interests and priorities begin to change. It’s no longer about getting turnt’ up until the sun rose, cramming for that biology class that was impossible to get higher than a C average in, or hanging out after school. Don’t fret because growth and change are on the way. This is the way the cookie crumbles, and if you have a feeling your friendship is changing and is beginning to put a strain on your personal life, here are the next couple of steps you should take:
EVALUATE THE FRIENDSHIP AND EACH OTHERS NEEDS:
Think about what you currently need out of the friendship.
Do you feel as though you need more out of the friendship then your friend is giving or vice versa? If so, this can be causing a strain in the relationship.
TALK TO YOUR FRIEND BEFORE FEELINGS ESCALATE:
If you truly cherish the friendship and you feel a disconnect have an honest conversation with your friend.
Keep in mind that there may be issues going on in their life that you are unaware of and that is causing the disconnect.
Most of the time an open and true conversation can help clear up any confusion and put your friendship back on the right path.
If the conversation doesn’t truly mend the situation you know that it’s time to consider space and know that it is okay to move on with minimal stress and healthy understanding.
If multiple conversations don’t solve the relationship at all, don’t get sad because growing apart from people is a part of your life journey.
DON’T FORCE IT & DON’T GET ANGRY:
When one party tries to force and continue a dead relationship, feelings of dismay, betrayal, and rejection will arise.
These feelings can lead to a lot of unnecessary and unwanted drama that can ultimately sabotage the friendship forever. and a complete end to the friendship.
GRIEVE:
No, your homegirl did not die, but you did lose a relationship that was once a vital part of your life and it hurts.
Don’t ponder on what you could have done to fix the relationship but remember all of your special moments and how they impacted that phase of your life, cherish those times and keep them near and dear to your heart.
Accept that you are different people in different places and different spaces and know that it is okay.
LIVE LIFE AND MAKE NEW FRIENDS:
Making new friends is not easy and Drake made us believe that we should never do such a thing but the truth is we all need friends, they make our worlds go round and enrich our lives.
Don’t feel guilty for making friends that share your same energy and nurture your soul.
Go out there and meet new people or get close to people who you relate to more at the moment. Different spaces, different places.
DON’T BURN BRIDGES. STAY IN TOUCH:
Don’t delete your friend’s number and never talk to them again.
Remember, there is a reason why you and your friend had a strong connection and that might come about again, just not at the moment.
If an old (TRUE) friend needs you, never hesitate to be by their side. Make sure that you are in touch just in case you are the only person they can call when in an unfortunate situation.
You know that one friend that you can go months without talking to but as soon as you link up or get on the phone it feels like no time has passed at all? Keep those friends forever. Maybe you are working a very time demanding job or you moved across the country and just don’t have time to keep up with your friends anymore. There is no love lost but you’re both just doing your thing and living life. This is okay and sometimes situations like this can lead to the most long-lasting relationships.
LET THIS ARTICLE DO ONE OF TWO THINGS:
1) Force you to strengthen your relationship with your best friends.
2) Relieve yourself from stressful environments & relationship.
It will all work out!!